I Might Have a Movie Addiction...

Yeah...I started collecting superhero movies around December of last year, and my collection has continued to increase. At first I was just collecting superhero movies because those were the movies I enjoyed watching. However, my collection quickly grew.

Of course, since I rediscovered my love for movies, I had to start watching tons of different kinds of movies. After my superhero phase (which arguably still hasn't ended yet), I started watching sappy love movies. It started with The Notebook, then to A Walk to Remember, and just kept on going. Before I fully realized what was going on, I was also watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Time Traveler's Wife, About Time, The Vow, Crazy, Stupid, Love, and many more movies.

After my...I don't know what to call it...Chick Flick Phase(?), I moved on to some Disney movies including Maleficent and Frozen, and then I moved on to a Robin Williams phase which included Hook, Bicentennial Man, Mrs. Doubtfire (No regrets for dressing up as her/him), and Good Morning Vietnam.

After these phases I went back to focusing on superhero movies and got Captain America 2, Amazing Spiderman 2, X-men: Days of Future Past, and so much more. I just love being able to watch movies and so I get tons of movies to watch. I've seen most of my movies at least 3 times, and I somehow manage not to get bored of them.

Last time I counted (about 5 minutes ago), I have over 80 movies. Now, while I don't doubt that there are tons of people who have larger movie collections, but it's my own collection which I may or may not be obsessed with.

Here, let me show you a couple of pictures.

So yeah, that's just what I wanted to say about my movies.

Fears

So I have a fear of needles. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I still get pretty creeped out by needles. This fear started when I was in the second grade and has stuck with me.

So one day when I was 7ish, these pink splotches started to appear on my legs, and I had no idea what they were. When I showed my parents, they were worried and took me to Christie Clinic. Unfortunately, the Pediatrician (I think that's what doctors for children are called?) didn't know what was wrong with me.

So, like all doctors do when they're unsure, this doctor decided to run tests on my blood. That meant they had to take a blood sample. Now, blood samples are taken from the arm (I think the part they usually take it from is the inside of the elbow, but I could be horribly wrong), and unfortunately for me, you can't see any veins on any part of my arms. So what happened in the next two hours was pure torture for me.

Imagine yourself as a young kid and it's around 9-10 PM, it's dark outside (I hate the dark...), and you're in this hospital and there's nobody else there as far as you can tell. Now there are around 3 nurses and a doctor around you (my dad was there too, but I don't remember being able to see him, so maybe he was standing behind me), and they're telling you that they need to poke you with a needle and how it should just feel like a tiny pinch. I already hated needles then because I just didn't like the idea of putting a tiny hole in my body, so I was freaking out when they said they needed a blood sample.

Now, despite hating needles, I just wanted to go home, so I tried to put up with the needles (I was also a crybaby, so I doubt that made the situation easier for those poor nurses who had to take my blood) and so they jab the needle into my arm (after using the wipe and all that good stuff you do before you put the needle in). Then I hear them say, "Oh, I didn't get the vein."

So of course, that led to try number two. Still jabbing my right arm, they missed again. Great. So they decided to use a smaller needle and use it on my left arm. They missed again.

After three tries I don't remember what was said, but the next thing I remembered was my dad telling me we were going to Provena to try to get a blood sample. Unfortunately, it was just as hard to jab my vein at Provena as it was at Christie. So of course, their first try was on my right arm, and was a miss. Then again on my left arm, another miss. Then there was this break where nothing was happening, so I asked my dad what was happening. The people at Provena had called in one of their best nurses who had been working there for a really long time. I remember she looked like a nice old lady, and she was the one that was able to jab my vein and get the blood sample.

Still, it was too late. I was terrified of needles. It had taken six tries to get one sample of blood. SIX. Because of that incident, I never wanted to be near any needles ever again. Luckily, I'm better at dealing with needles today, but I'll always have that fear of needles.

My Experiences Cross Dressing

So, as probably everybody (or mostly everybody) knows, I crossed dressed for Halloween, and it was both the best and worst moment of my life.

First off, there was the makeup. Oh my goodness that was one of the most uncomfortable things ever. I don't even know how to being describing it, but I just didn't feel like my face belonged to me and it felt like there was a bunch of stuff on it. I don't know if anybody else ever feels like that (the part where my face didn't feel like it belonged to me), but I have gained a new appreciation of people who wear makeup.

It also felt strange having lipstick on. I don't know if it's supposed to kinda feel like having chap-stick on or not, but it just felt like something a little heavy was on my lips. For some reason it also made me mumble a bit when I was talking, but that might have just been my fault. Also, I learned the hard way that if you don't use lotion after removing the makeup your face will be super dry and crack. And then using lotion will burn.

Then there's the clothes I wore. They offered almost no protection against the elements. I don't understand, is a cardigan supposed to be used to complete the look of an outfit, or is it supposed to actually function like a jacket or sweater?

The pantyhose...I obviously have no clue about these clothing items because I have no idea what the pantyhose was supposed to do. I still don't. The only thing I think the pantyhose did was scar some of the people on the first floor for life. Then there's the dress, which again, offered little to no protection against the cold. It sucked. Especially because of the wind.

Though there was still tons of great memories too. I loved the reactions I got. Some people just stopped and stared, so I think it's safe to say I shocked a lot of people by cross dressing. I got asked a lot of questions such as, "Did your parents see you before you left the house?" (the answer is yes) and "Oh my gosh, Eric?"

Also, on the bright side, I got a big candy bar from the costume contest!

I've learned a lot about what not to wear to stay warm, what to do to make sure I don't feel like my face is burning off, and how to have no shame. Still, I doubt I'm ever going to cross dress again.

I'm soooooo bored...

I don't know what I want to write about but I also don't know what I want to do in general. I've run out of ideas for Jerry for now, maybe because I don't currently have a burning desire to write about him.

Well, I guess I could talk about what I like and that kinda stuff but it's so generic and, honestly, I find it boring to write about myself. I don't think I'm a very interesting person, probably because I've had to deal with myself on a daily basis. I like reading about what others are interested in and what their hobbies are, but I'd hate myself if I wrote about what I like. Okay, maybe not hate, but I'd definitely feel some form of dislike towards myself. Whenever I try to write about what makes me "interesting" or just Eric, I have to force myself to do so because I don't really care about what I like and it gets really boring.

I don't know if others feel the same way, but I think it's just because I know what I like and I've dealt with it for a long time. The stuff I do just doesn't really excite me that much anymore. That and I'm pretty sure that anything I do is crap compared to others that I know.

I could talk about how I play piano, but I've met tons of people who are better than me at piano. I guess I could write about the boring experience I had one time where I had to wait for 30 minutes so a judge could tell me I didn't beat some girl who plans to major in music and supposedly practices hours a day. But is that really interesting? Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy playing the piano, but I just don't think I can write about my experiences in a way that doesn't appear to be as boring as watching paint dry. Yeah, sure there are tons of pieces on the piano that sound really cool and stuff, but most of it is really tough to learn. It's also time consuming, and I just don't have the time to do that kinda stuff anymore. Maybe after I'm done worrying about colleges, standardized tests, and schoolwork...

Yeah, actually I've changed my mind. I think I'll just continue and give some of my experiences playing the piano. Sorry if this bores you guys.

So, I started playing piano when I was about five. All because I watched a lot of T.V. and saw that the cartoon characters could play so effortlessly. I wasn't even watching a T.V. show, it was just one of those transition stuff where there was a bunch of Disney characters jumping around and playing and stuff. Unfortunately, Aladdin was playing the piano, and my parents saw that. They then asked me if I wanted to learn the piano. I said yes. Man, what a sucker. So my parents got me a teacher and I just played piano leisurely. Except not. I learned that my mom had been a piano teacher before so she made sure that I actually practiced. Did it suck? Yes. I didn't like being forced to play piano. It's like how when most kids are told by their parents to do something, like cleaning their room, they're less likely to do it.

Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to quit. So I pretty much had a love/hate relationship with the piano. Sometimes I'd play a piece I really liked and sometimes I just didn't want to have to play. my memory gets really fuzzy later on so somewhere between when I first started playing piano and today, I found enough motivation to not detest the piano. Weird. Aw well...maybe if I can remember more I'll make another post about that.

So yeah, sorry if this post rambles more than normal. It's just what happens when I'm bored. I guess I'm not bored anymore though...

All hail Jerry.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhh

The title sums up my feelings concisely. I don't know why, but I get frustrated really easily. It can be from not understanding how to do a single problem on a physics worksheet or from talking to certain people. Either way, I'll get angry quickly.

It used to be worse when I was younger. I'd get frustrated over video games or reading a boring book and just refuse to do anything. It didn't help that I was (and still am) a pretty aggressive person, though I've gotten a lot better. I don't understand why I get so angry, but I do.

I also get stressed out really easily, which then can lead to me getting angry. So, to try to avoid this, I've been trying to get myself more time to relax and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, I haven't had much time recently so it's hard for me to make time to just relax. Part of it is just that the quarter is ending, college apps are due in about 2 weeks, and studying for standardized tests. Though it probably doesn't help that I also overstress myself when it comes to any kind of test or essay.

Whatever, moving on. Having a cold really sucks. My nose gets stuffy, I cough a ton, and I'm constantly cold. The biggest problem I have with me having a cold is that I really hate to miss school. So pretty much, I bring a lot of pain and annoyance on myself. I try constantly to go to school because I have having to catch up on work. As a result, this probably makes me feel a bit worse. The worst part is that I still have to take an ACT this month so I'm sick at one of the worst possible times (the others being finals period and times when heading out for a vacation). I've had a couple friends tell me to just take a day off but I'm too stubborn to. I have a really stupid rule I've set for myself, "If I can still move without a ton of discomfort, I can go to school." Maybe I'll finally stop being so stubborn one day, but for now, I'll just stay away from others.

I don't know...

So I just randomly decided to dedicate this post to the phrase I use the most, "I don't know." I just don't know (haha...) how I use this phrase so much. Maybe it's because, as an indecisive person, I like how this phrase adequately conveys how I feel/think.

However, this phrase has helped me as much as it's hurt me. When I answer a question with, "I don't know", I've always gotten two kinds of responses. The first one is that people just go, "Oh" or something and just let somebody else try to answer the question.

However, the second response, the one that's the bane of my existence, is "What do you mean you don't know?" Really? I mean, it's pretty straightforward. It means I don't comprehend one of two things: What the question is asking for, or what I think about a question. If I say, "I don't know" that means I'm not sure of what I'm thinking of and need to convey that I'm clueless. Now, being the jerk I am, I usually respond with, "That means I don't comprehend how to answer the question, I'm not sure of an answer, etc." It works, just not that well. I just don't like answering questions if I'm not completely sure on what to say. I hate sounding stupid, which is funny because I'm pretty sure that a lot of what comes out of my mouth sounds stupid.

I guess that makes Jerry the opposite of me in this sense. I almost never know how to answer a question, and Jerry always answers a question, no matter how stupid he sounds. Looking back on it, Jerry and I are really similar in some aspects, but in all other aspects we're practically opposites. He loves lollipops and I did too as a child. He sounds really stupid quite often when talking, so do I. He can always answer a question with absolute certainty, I can't. He always has an idea, I don't (which is a bit ironic considering all of his ideas technically come from me...)

Maybe I made Jerry as an Eric 2.0 (or at least, an Eric 1.25) so I could make him do what I want to do. Or maybe I'm just overthinking it. While this might sound really weird or creepy, I'm not sure what Jerry is thinking. Maybe I just have multiple personalities and Jerry is one of them. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if he was. Maybe I'm just insane, and I actually never created Jerry, he just took over my mind and body and made me do all of this stuff...

Okay yeah back on topic, I don't know what to say. Really. I never know what I'm going to write about until I'm about halfway done with an assignment, like an essay or a blog post. Sometimes, I like to think I'm like a Greco-Roman poet but worse. I need a kind of Muse, it doesn't matter from what, but I need one to write stories and blog posts. Maybe I'm just trying to give an excuse for why I'm really lazy if I'm not focused. I mean, I like to think that I don't procrastinate that much (relative to some of my friends) but I still do have some problems focusing occasionally.

Normally for writing an essay or something, I'll just plop myself in front of my computer and work for a few hours straight. Unfortunately, I'm not a good writer so I need to revise heavily, but still. I need to sit for hours on end because if I get up to take a break, I'll ruin my train of thought and won't be able to write again. To be fair, I'm sitting down right now focusing on this blog post and it's all over the place, so sorry for that.

When I was younger, I told myself I'd avoid saying, "I don't know." Unfortunately, that hasn't worked out too well for me...I've given up hoping I won't ever be an indecisive person. To those that go, "Oh that's really bad.", shut up. We can't all be leaders, and just because I'm not decisive doesn't mean I can't be a leader. I can make decisions when they're important, or when they affect me specifically. Maybe I'd rather be a follower, but is that so bad? Would leaders really be much without any followers?

So if you're also indecisive like me, yay! If you're not, good for you. Either way, we don't know how we'll end up so we can't really judge others based off one trait of their personality (I mean, we technically can and lots of us do it all the time, it's not a terrible thing, just a human thing).

In conclusion, I don't know, Jerry is my oppotical (opposite+identical) twlone (twin+clone) and I don't care about being a follower. All hail King Jerry I, Prince Jerry II, and Sir Jeremiah Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia Magnificence aka Jerry III.

Jerry is Life

So, I'm in the mood to talk more about Jerry. Now, there's nothing really much for me to say about Jerry currently, other than I did my best to try to make him immortal. I don't mean in the sense that he can't be killed. I've already killed him off before, so it's not that he can't be killed. I mean immortal in the sense that he won't be forgotten. By making Jerry appear as being so simple, I've (hopefully) made it easier to remember. If he can be remembered forever, he'll never really die, right?

However, there is one problem about Jerry. It's actually really tough to write about him. I mean, the way I've created him, I find it insanely difficult to write a story about him. I usually only write about him when it's for a poem or a short story. It's just something about how I see Jerry. Maybe it's because I have trouble thinking up a long and confusing journey for him. Maybe it's because I like writing about a quick misadventure, like what could happen when you try to sell hot chocolate in the middle of the summer on a beach.

Then again, I haven't ever really tried to write a long story about Jerry...who knows? Maybe I'll do that some day. It can be a bunch of his misadventures that are all loosely connected somehow.

Wait, I think I digressed a bit from what I wanted to say about Jerry. Anyways, his immortality. I don't know if Jerry being remembered forever will mean he'll be immortal. I mean, he won't die out if at least one person can remember him, right? Who knows? Maybe if I ever have any children, I could show them my Jerry creations and they could continue my legacy. That would count, right? I mean, this way, Jerry would technically be remembered for another generation.

...Yeah that's pretty much all I have to say about Jerry for now. That's all!