Fears

So I have a fear of needles. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I still get pretty creeped out by needles. This fear started when I was in the second grade and has stuck with me.

So one day when I was 7ish, these pink splotches started to appear on my legs, and I had no idea what they were. When I showed my parents, they were worried and took me to Christie Clinic. Unfortunately, the Pediatrician (I think that's what doctors for children are called?) didn't know what was wrong with me.

So, like all doctors do when they're unsure, this doctor decided to run tests on my blood. That meant they had to take a blood sample. Now, blood samples are taken from the arm (I think the part they usually take it from is the inside of the elbow, but I could be horribly wrong), and unfortunately for me, you can't see any veins on any part of my arms. So what happened in the next two hours was pure torture for me.

Imagine yourself as a young kid and it's around 9-10 PM, it's dark outside (I hate the dark...), and you're in this hospital and there's nobody else there as far as you can tell. Now there are around 3 nurses and a doctor around you (my dad was there too, but I don't remember being able to see him, so maybe he was standing behind me), and they're telling you that they need to poke you with a needle and how it should just feel like a tiny pinch. I already hated needles then because I just didn't like the idea of putting a tiny hole in my body, so I was freaking out when they said they needed a blood sample.

Now, despite hating needles, I just wanted to go home, so I tried to put up with the needles (I was also a crybaby, so I doubt that made the situation easier for those poor nurses who had to take my blood) and so they jab the needle into my arm (after using the wipe and all that good stuff you do before you put the needle in). Then I hear them say, "Oh, I didn't get the vein."

So of course, that led to try number two. Still jabbing my right arm, they missed again. Great. So they decided to use a smaller needle and use it on my left arm. They missed again.

After three tries I don't remember what was said, but the next thing I remembered was my dad telling me we were going to Provena to try to get a blood sample. Unfortunately, it was just as hard to jab my vein at Provena as it was at Christie. So of course, their first try was on my right arm, and was a miss. Then again on my left arm, another miss. Then there was this break where nothing was happening, so I asked my dad what was happening. The people at Provena had called in one of their best nurses who had been working there for a really long time. I remember she looked like a nice old lady, and she was the one that was able to jab my vein and get the blood sample.

Still, it was too late. I was terrified of needles. It had taken six tries to get one sample of blood. SIX. Because of that incident, I never wanted to be near any needles ever again. Luckily, I'm better at dealing with needles today, but I'll always have that fear of needles.

My Experiences Cross Dressing

So, as probably everybody (or mostly everybody) knows, I crossed dressed for Halloween, and it was both the best and worst moment of my life.

First off, there was the makeup. Oh my goodness that was one of the most uncomfortable things ever. I don't even know how to being describing it, but I just didn't feel like my face belonged to me and it felt like there was a bunch of stuff on it. I don't know if anybody else ever feels like that (the part where my face didn't feel like it belonged to me), but I have gained a new appreciation of people who wear makeup.

It also felt strange having lipstick on. I don't know if it's supposed to kinda feel like having chap-stick on or not, but it just felt like something a little heavy was on my lips. For some reason it also made me mumble a bit when I was talking, but that might have just been my fault. Also, I learned the hard way that if you don't use lotion after removing the makeup your face will be super dry and crack. And then using lotion will burn.

Then there's the clothes I wore. They offered almost no protection against the elements. I don't understand, is a cardigan supposed to be used to complete the look of an outfit, or is it supposed to actually function like a jacket or sweater?

The pantyhose...I obviously have no clue about these clothing items because I have no idea what the pantyhose was supposed to do. I still don't. The only thing I think the pantyhose did was scar some of the people on the first floor for life. Then there's the dress, which again, offered little to no protection against the cold. It sucked. Especially because of the wind.

Though there was still tons of great memories too. I loved the reactions I got. Some people just stopped and stared, so I think it's safe to say I shocked a lot of people by cross dressing. I got asked a lot of questions such as, "Did your parents see you before you left the house?" (the answer is yes) and "Oh my gosh, Eric?"

Also, on the bright side, I got a big candy bar from the costume contest!

I've learned a lot about what not to wear to stay warm, what to do to make sure I don't feel like my face is burning off, and how to have no shame. Still, I doubt I'm ever going to cross dress again.